A confession

Has a nation changed its gods,
even though they are no gods?
But my people have changed their glory
for that which does not profit.
Be appalled, O heavens, at this;
be shocked, be utterly desolate,
declares the LORD,
for my people have committed two evils:
they have forsaken me,
the fountain of living waters,
and hewed out cisterns for themselves,
broken cisterns that can hold no water.

I am a sinner. This means something. It isn't empty. It isn't some vague, amorphous, overly-spiritual proclamation. But that's what I've made it.
I am a sinner. It's meant nothing more to me than, there's something in me that doesn't seek God. It's let me hide behind spiritual words and the right answers. My sin isn't that, though. My sins are concrete. They are dirty. They have consequences. I am a liar and an adulterer. I am an idolator.

I have forsaken the living God, the only source of true delight. I've made for myself idols that can provide no real pleasure. I've willfully sinned in pursuit of these idols. I've harbored these sins in my heart. I've hardened it against God and his saints.

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.

God's hand has been heavy on me, but still I have hidden away my shame and guilt. He allowed me to continue in my secret sin for a season, but no longer. God is laying bare my deepest secrets. He is bringing the light to shine on those dirty, secret sins I've kept. And it is hard. I don't like the consequences, but I have brought them on myself. It's hard, but it is good. It is necessary. It is how I am brought to repentence.

As great as is my sin, God's grace is greater still. His mercy abounds far more than I could ever imagine. It is new every morning when I rise, to cover over the new sins that rise with me. I can praise him as I have been unable to for so long. I can see that he is a truly great savior, who can cover over my great sin.

I am holy, not because of anything in me, but despite everything that was in me. I have said this so many times before, but I don't know if I've ever really believed it. God is good. He has covered me with the righteousness of Christ. He has put the seal of the Holy Spirit in my heart. He has declared me pure and righteous. He has put to death that sinner and has made me a saint.

Praise God and our Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself up for one such as I and all those who came before and will follow after in this great faith which he has written and is completing in us. We are unable to purchase for ouselves that which we most need, but God has given to us an invitation.

Come, everyone who thirsts,
come to the waters;
and he who has no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without price.